Clinical Psychologist "Dr. Stephan B.Poulter" - In The News: "Media Corp News / Channel Asia

Your father in you

By Reeta Raman, TODAY
Time is GMT + 8 hours
Posted: 20 June 2006 1116 hrs

Would the kind of father you have affect your success in the work place?

Apparently, it may, according to The Father Factor, a new book by Stephan Poulter. Poulter is a clinical psychologist who works with adolescents.

In his book, he lists five styles of fathers - super-achieving, time-bomb, passive, absent and compassionate/mentor - who are influential in the careers of their children.

Children of the "time-bomb" father, for example, who explodes in anger at his family, learn how to read people and their moods. These discerning abilities make them good at jobs such as personnel managers or negotiators, he wrote in his book.

But those same children may have trouble developing trust and feeling safe.

"There's a lot to be said for the thoughts reflected in this book. However, we shouldn't also underestimate the impact of other factors such as peers, the child's personality and the environment.

"But we do know that fathers act as role models and the affirmation of a father can mean the whole world to a child," commented Dr Ken Ung, consultant psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Adam Road Hospital.

Yet even as the role of the father in parenting is important, it continues to lack prominence here because there is little media attention, research and funding for it.

If a child misses out on a male role model, he or she loses a little of what it means to have a relationship with a male figure in life, unless of course alternatives such as a stepfather, grandfather or even teachers can step in and fulfil that role, said Dr Daniel Fung, consultant psychiatrist and deputy chief at the department of child and adolescent psychiatry, Institute of Mental Health.

"For a boy, they miss out on who they would become later in life: What it means to be a man and a father to their own children later on. For a girl, a missing father or father figure means they lose out on discovering the type of men they will relate to later on in their lives," he said.

Beyond that, research has also pointed out that fathers play an important role in the development of a child's sexual identity.

In many sexual identity disorder cases Dr Ung sees during his clinical practice, often the fathers were not present in the lives of these patients - either physically, emotionally or psychologically.

Interestingly, a controversial paper called The Toronto Lesbian Family Study went on to show how lesbians interviewed in the paper had little contact with their fathers.

Admittedly, many of such papers are observational studies that can have an element of bias. Additionally, many other factors, such as the environment and how the mother fits in, must be taken into account, so there's no "one answer fits all" conclusion here, said Dr Fung.

Having said that, the father's presence is important as a "back up" or an "insurance policy", as children need at least one parent's affirmation, preferably both of course, to thrive.

So if the mother is absent, either physically or emotionally, the father's presence to affirm and nurture is very important.

Many of Dr Ung's patients with borderline personality disorder - they are prone to depression, mood swings, being impulsive and volatile - bear this out. He said: "I can trace this back to the lack of any parental involvement. When the child is criticised or attacked by one parent, the other is not there to step in and protect or undo the damage."

All said and done, fathers in this generation seem to be taking their fathering roles more seriously compared to fathers in the 1970s, according to research commissioned by the Equal Opportunities Commission.

The research found that the amount of time fathers spent with their kids increased from less than 15 minutes a day in the 1970s to about two hours by the late 1990s.

So long as this trend continues, that's good news.

To find out about father-child bonding activities and more, contact the Centre for Fathering Singapore at 6252 8408.

Daddy's not home

Overseas studies on the role of fathers indicate the following facts, according to the Centre for Fathering, Singapore:
Adolescent females between the ages of 15 and 19 years raised in homes without fathers are significantly more likely to engage in premarital sex than adolescent females raised in homes with both a mother and a father.
Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke as teenagers than children growing up with their fathers in the home.

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