Modern Masculinity
A Compassionate Guidebook to Men’s Mental Health
In his new book, psychologist Stephan B. Poulter gives men a roadmap out of toxic masculinity and offers a new vision of what it means to be a man.
Men are in crisis. The old model of masculinity is dying. Women are saying “enough” to it and so are many men. Your father’s masculinity—the one that denied him any emotions except anger and too often led to tragic personal, familial, and social outcomes—is rightfully going the way of the dinosaur. But what should replace it and how can men embrace a new, healthy model of masculinity?
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Dr. Stephan Poulter’s book, Modern Masculinity doesn’t just offer information or suggestions – it shakes you up, makes you think, and invites you into deeper conversation about the culture, and real struggles, of so many men in today’s society. This is the book that so many men don’t even realize they need. It’s also an invaluable read for anyone – partners, friends, therapists – who want to better understand the developmental backstory and resulting inner landscape of the men in their lives. Modern Masculinity gives us a new blueprint where strength and vulnerability aren’t opposites but instead safe and necessary allies for men.
This book talks openly and clearly about what so many men routinely struggle with: loneliness, emotional suppression, and long-held (and often subtle) shame that can show itself as anger or detachment, and a deep fear of vulnerability in relationships. Stephan doesn’t just look at ‘problem behaviours’, but instead connects the dots between a man’s history and his present struggles and, sometimes confusing, reactions. Stephan looks at how childhood experiences – particularly how the father-son dynamic – can really influence the way a man processes (or avoids) emotions. He also looks at the subtle but ongoing pressure for me to be stoic, self-sufficient, and ‘strong’ in a way that create disconnection and a false sense of resilience.
Dr. Poulter doesn’t just diagnose the problem. He also offers tangible, and doable steps to help men explore and move beyond emotional numbness, navigate even subtle fears of intimacy, and develop a self-worth that isn’t just tied to transactional or external validation.
Finally, Dr. Poulter recognizes that healing and growth require real work – like recognizing old patterns, offering permission to gently normalize and then explore shame, and learn how to communicate in ways that feel authentic rather than forced. Dr. Poulter’s writing is sharp, empathetic, and full of real-life examples that will allow men to feel understood, and hopeful.
– Dr Jennifer Freedy, Phd
… a fresh and thoughtful take on what it means to be a man today.
– Publishers Weekly
The Shame Factor
Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free
Self-image is more important than any other factor in determining direction, success, and overall happiness in life. This “ground zero” influences all of our choices, perspectives, and perceptions.
In his seventh book, renowned psychologist Dr. Stephan Poulter explores the profound emotional experience of shame. No emotion in a man or woman’s life is more confusing, debilitating, and damaging than shame.
What is shame? Its insidious nature is complicated and difficult to explain. You can live with all of the symptoms of this debilitating emotional condition and never want or be able to identify the origin. In The Shame Factor, Dr. Poulter exposes the secret and nonfunctional nature of this psychological malaise.
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The Art of Successful Failure
Discover Your Purpose
“The Art of Successful Failure” is a personal road map to discovering the incredible purpose (nothing is random), meaning and important life lessons that we all have.
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Father Your Son
How to Become the Father You’ve Always Wanted to Be
Father Your Son: How to Become the Father You’ve Always Wanted to Be, by Stephan Poulter, Ph.D., is a must for any man who wants to establish a powerful emotional bond with his son. As its title suggests, it is packed with practical tips on how to connect with sons of all ages and in all stages of development. But perhaps more important than this “how to” advice is Dr. Poulter’s emphasis on exploring your relationship with your own father.
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The Father Factor
How Your Father’s Legacy Impacts Your Career
The Father Factor: How Your Father’s Legacy Impacts Your Career, by Stephan B. Poulter, PhD., provides refreshing, new, intuitive insights into the elusive career and interpersonal challenges professionals face most often in the workplace from a paternal relationship perspective.
Essential reading for parents and anyone in business looking to move up the ladder and reach their professional potential
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The Mother Factor
How Your Mother’s Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life
Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mothers leave an indelible impression on the persons we become. Our ability to function emotionally in relationships — both personal and professional — is based on our mothers’ deep influence.
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Your Ex-Factor
Overcome Heartbreak & Build a Better Life
Over two-thirds of American families are “blended” which means they are made up of remarried adults and often stepchildren. Although it’s good news that many divorced people remarry, the bad news is that too many of them carry the animosities and negative behavior patterns of their former heartbreaks into their new situation.
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